Response
to a Suicide Note
You have more to live for
You just
don't see the
clouds of
your brain
right now
Throw it
away
Stop
STOP
There is a
lot more to live for
Think of the
things that make you happy
They are in
abundance
Focus on the
good
There is
much insight to be had
Think this
through
Think this
through
Talk to
someone
Get the help
you need and deserve
Throw it
away
Throw it the
fuck away
You don't
need it
Everyone is
here for you
Rooting for
you to get better
If you can't
do it for you,
do it for me
I don't want
to be writing
about your
suicide for the
next 20
years
Adam Levon Brown
Stars in Your Eyes
Fast forward one month
We were officially a couple
and the sun shined on me with
all of its praise for the first time in my life.
Waking up every day was an exciting journey.
I would awaken to a nibble on my ear,
someone sitting on me, or someone laughing.
She was heavily into skating, so our first
weeks together were spent at a skateboard shop
called Sk8ers. The display model of a skateboard
was in place for people to practice their moves.
Just to emphasize how bad my injury was,
I was bed-ridden for a week
I walked up to that board like I was
Tarzan and ready to slide along the trees.
I tried an Ollie and the board slipped
from underneath me as if I was one of the
Mario Brothers being swept away by an angry turtle.
I landed on the cement floor underneath and wondered
what the hell had just happened.
She laughed and laughed and laughed.
The pain was excruciating, but my ego took the biggest punch.
I hobbled over to the couch and she followed behind.
While nursing my shrunken head, she initiated a kiss.
The fireworks from the movie, “Mulan” exploded into my head.
While drunk on dopamine, I decided to try to say something
romantic.
All that came from my mouth was,
“You have stars in your eyes”
Damn I was good.
I knew that at any moment, we would be off to my parents’
apartment to begin making out.
This wasn’t the case.
She laughed even harder than when I fell and I sat there awkward,
with a face full of ketchup embarrassment.
I quickly changed the subject and asked if she wanted to go eat.
She wore a smile that seemed to say,
“God, I’m with an idiot, but he’s sweet.”
We left to the Mcdonald’s down the road. She walked, while I
strutted along like a geriatric
pool of sweat.
Adam Levon Brown
Misery Hates
Company
It's not
that I
don't love
you.
You must
understand
that I've
made loneliness
A lifestyle.
I am so broken
that tears
no longer come.
You must
understand
that the Sun
is just a
contorted
memory.
Darkness is
my truth
And I plan
on telling it.
Fly away, my
dove of light.
Adam Levon Brown
The Numbness
Pervades
Dead eyes
can
only see so
far
When the
vultures
come to
feast
There will
be carrion
that will
resist
They will
resist
but die
trying
Such is the
darkness
that
swallows my psyche
An enigma of
a black
hole
trapping my spirit
In its
chains of misery.
Life
succumbs to lies
and bones of
the celestial
become numb
Death is
your shadow
that follows
And In the
end, there
is only numb
Adam Levon Brown
Queer
Confessional
Thinking
about men
has only
seemed natural
to me for 21
days and 6 hours.
Years spent
denying my very core
and reveling
in the fact
that I could
do it.
The war has
ended
and the dust
has settled.
Cobwebs in
my heart
have been
replaced
with a
renewed vigor.
I don't know
where to go
from here,
but my eyes
are set to
the sky.
I am free.
Adam Levon Brown
