Thursday, June 6, 2019

on a three-day bender

she was an hourglass
missing the sand

i was the last drop
of goodness in a
bottle of jack daniels
on a three-day bender
outside of new orleans

we danced with
cajun queens

did lines of cocaine
with some crazy dude
that gave dance lessons
and in his spare time,
tattoos

a kiss became something
more while strolling past
a graveyard

and yes, we dabbled
in voodoo, you know,

you only live once

but she wasn't thrilled
with being a passenger

and i have never been
satisfied with life as
a tourist

one of these days

either together or apart

we'll find our glass
of sweet tea
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i had already thought of killing myself

i remember when i was
eight years old and told
my father he sucked at
being a parent

i had already thought
of killing myself

but now i was looking
to help my mother out
by having my father
kill me

at least she would have
her way out of the
shitty marriage

he eventually knocked
my bedroom door off
of the hinges and grabbed
me by my head and told
me i brought you into
this world, i can take
you out of it as well

i told him he didn't have
the balls to kill me

he threw me into the
wall and walked out

my father went to
vietnam to die

he came back a
gutless soul

not once at fault
for anything

later that night
my mother forced
my father to tell me
he loved me

we both knew
he was fucking
lying

but mom believed
miracles exist

all these years 
later

him dead in the
ground

and myself damn
near close as well

my mother is still
waiting for that
miracle

i pat her on the back
and tell her there is
no reason to die
disappointed
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
like a sweet sorrow

your tears taste 
like a sweet
sorrow

we always could
dim the lights
and pretend
we are aliens
discovering
what edible
panties taste
like

i could spend
hours trading
horror stories
with you

i fall asleep
now to you
whispering
spanish
nonsense
in my ears

your accent
makes me
wet in all the
right places

may we have
the death you
always dreamed
about
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
keeping you alive

pretend your pain
is the only thing
keeping you alive

but there's always
the hope for a new
pill to cure it all

relax

you live in a place
where hope goes
to die
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
and beyond flexible

when i see the twenty
somethings that are
beautiful and beyond
flexible

i start to wonder how
many times those legs
could be wrapped
around my head

of course, then i start
to think about how
much that fantasy
would actually cost
someone like me

and i don't have
that many zeroes
in my bank account
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
once the money went away

i had a woman
stuff her panties
in my mouth
once

sadly, she had
no interest in
me once the 
money went
away

neither did 
anyone else
for that matter

and then there
are the days
where my hands
say enough is
enough
------------------------------------------------------------------------
J.J. Campbell

on a three-day bender she was an hourglass missing the sand i was the last drop of goodness in a bottle of jack daniels on ...