'shexed'

I am
doomed.
this feeling that weighs
down like the weight
of all the regret of
men before me
that
chokes the life from my
chest.
the feeling whispers
"never ever"
and I know
as the breeze flows
and the fragrance invades
my soul and envelopes
my being.

'clementine'

you see,
this is how it will always be
me stuck, rotting here,
without my Clementine.
you always liked that
when I called you that
when I told you that
no girl but you would ever be called that,
it's true.

Clementine, I miss you
once again disastrous timing,
but,
I'll forgive you soon.
until then here I'll sit,
writing poems about you while some
other woman reads them
(they turn her on).

your lips were tiny
tight mouthed Clementine.
the hospital was cold,
my bed was better,

dont you think so Clementine?

'round two'

now I've got you,
surprising me that you came back.

I wont miss again.

she's nowhere near
my mind.

saddle up, on top you mount
sucking away the pain,
fucking numbing my
mind.

I had to make up for last time.
I flipped her back
onto her
back,
and thrust it in.

"go easy, it's so big!"

I never listen.
I went, and went,
never slowing
until I
finished.

she limped to the bathroom.

(and this poem doesn't mean much to me because neither did she)

'STBY'

I don't find it fair when I hear someone say,
"don't commit suicide, think of all the hurt people you'll leave behind."
well,
those people may not know
what is best for that person,
and
why should someone continue living in
pain or continue a life they despise
just so your not left behind with the
pain of loss?
and what about these cold,
lonely nights spent thinking about
actually doing it and thinking about
them
and how it would affect them
and what they would think
and what they would do
and what would happen;
but I just ask one thing,
while sitting alone in the dark
thinking about those people,
are they thinking about me?

'Es Gee'

oh you,
yea, oh
yea, you.
when will
you, yea
you, quit
this tease?
it's mutual.
it's there.
your eyes
tell me
so, yea,
oh yea.
you put
yourself
out there
like air.
be careful.
be sure.
before I
lay you
down
and fuck
the shit
out of
you. yea,
oh you.


'to whom it may concern'

can you distract me?
from all the things around me
the death inside of me
dying to get out
the life in me
that rejects it's host
from the circumstances that take my knees
out from underneath me
from those that have decieved me
and the scars they've left on me
which is the only thing
that seems to stick around
these days
weighing on me

can you distract me?

from this place that's slowly
sucking
my spirit out of me
I can feel it leaving me
as I breathe
inhale-exhale
I can't seem to keep my eyes
steady or my body still
and my hands tremble and
my limbs quiver
so can you tell me
can you distract me?

anything to take my mind off of
me

Cody Michael