Monday, December 17, 2018

faced with a choice
i'm old enough now
to know the end is
much closer than i
want to believe
that one of these
days the breaths
will be harder to
the alcohol won't
go down as smoothly
and i'll be faced
with a choice
take my own life
or let time take me
with it
considering the pain
i feel now and i'm
only in my early
there won't be much
of a choice at all
suicide will be
my last attempt
at finding mercy
in this cruel world
disposable souls
stuck in a world
full of disposable
i can always
look back and
say if
fuck if
my life is at the
point where if
needs a little
more fucking
now, imagine
if the world
thought the
same thing
when the drugs stop working
i often wonder what
my mother will do
when the drugs stop
i see her now and then
looking over at my bar
i tell her to go ahead
and take the pills
with vodka
there's no way it's
going to get worse
besides, if you drink
the pain takes care
of itself
threatened me with a good time and a better tomorrow

i remember all 
my lovers like 
it was yesterday

the ones in it 
for the money

the ones who 
would only fuck 
in the dark

the ones who 
liked to laugh

the ones who 
wanted to run
away with me

the one who 
probably would
have made the 
best wife

the one who 
became unbelievably
sexy when listening 
to prince

of course, she's 
into women now

the one who would 
dance in my poems 
and always bring me 
a sense of warmth
and acceptance

the one that promised 
an affair and then moved 
a couple thousand miles 

the one who promised to 
murder me in my sleep

all of them have threatened 
me with a good time and 
a better tomorrow

all of them found something 
better before ever giving me 
the chance or second chance 
or in one rare one, a third 

so be it

the next one is going to 
be the luckiest woman 
silence and impending doom
lonely man on a lake
just his thoughts
silence and
impending doom
no family still around
same with friends
he visits more graves
in a week than bars
he constantly wonders
why he keeps hanging
he feels a tug on the
fishing line
another little one
he'll sit for hours
catching next to
no ambition to find
a better lake
with better fish
and something other
than a gravel road
my plan of apathy
i voted for
the first time
since god
knows when
this year
it has become
quite obvious
that my plan
of apathy just
wasn't fucking
so now, i guess
it's time to fuck
it all up from
J.J. Campbell

Helpless I do not know if good intentions prevail among the elected, among the appointed, leaving me apprehensive that the fate ...