Monday, December 17, 2018

faced with a choice
 
i'm old enough now
to know the end is
much closer than i
want to believe
 
that one of these
days the breaths
will be harder to
produce
 
the alcohol won't
go down as smoothly
 
and i'll be faced
with a choice
 
take my own life
or let time take me
with it
 
considering the pain
i feel now and i'm
only in my early
forties
 
there won't be much
of a choice at all
 
suicide will be
my last attempt
at finding mercy
in this cruel world
--------------------------------------------------------------------
disposable souls
 
stuck in a world
full of disposable
souls
 
i can always
look back and
say if
 
fuck if
 
my life is at the
point where if
needs a little
more fucking
urgency
 
now, imagine
if the world
thought the
same thing
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
when the drugs stop working
 
i often wonder what
my mother will do
when the drugs stop
working
 
i see her now and then
looking over at my bar
 
i tell her to go ahead
and take the pills
with vodka
 
there's no way it's
going to get worse
 
besides, if you drink
enough
 
the pain takes care
of itself
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
threatened me with a good time and a better tomorrow

i remember all 
my lovers like 
it was yesterday

the ones in it 
for the money

the ones who 
would only fuck 
in the dark

the ones who 
liked to laugh

the ones who 
wanted to run
away with me

the one who 
probably would
have made the 
best wife

the one who 
became unbelievably
sexy when listening 
to prince

of course, she's 
into women now

the one who would 
dance in my poems 
and always bring me 
a sense of warmth
and acceptance

the one that promised 
an affair and then moved 
a couple thousand miles 
away

the one who promised to 
murder me in my sleep

all of them have threatened 
me with a good time and 
a better tomorrow

all of them found something 
better before ever giving me 
the chance or second chance 
or in one rare one, a third 
chance

so be it

the next one is going to 
be the luckiest woman 
alive
-------------------------------------------------------------
silence and impending doom
 
lonely man on a lake
 
just his thoughts
silence and
impending doom
 
no family still around
 
same with friends
 
he visits more graves
in a week than bars
anymore
 
he constantly wonders
why he keeps hanging
on
 
he feels a tug on the
fishing line
 
another little one
 
he'll sit for hours
catching next to
nothing
 
no ambition to find
a better lake
 
with better fish
 
and something other
than a gravel road
------------------------------------------------------------------------
my plan of apathy
 
i voted for
the first time
since god
knows when
this year
 
it has become
quite obvious
that my plan
of apathy just
wasn't fucking
working
 
so now, i guess
it's time to fuck
it all up from
within
------------------------------------------------------------------------
J.J. Campbell
jcampb4593@aol.com
http://evildelights.blogspot.com
http://sites.google.com/site/losersincsite/
http://soundcloud.com/j-j-campbell
http://goodreads.com/jjthepoet
 

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