Wednesday, November 15, 2017

all alone in a crowded room

old faces from
the past race in
front of my mind

sort of a sensory
overload of sorts

all the horrors
from a childhood
i can't escape

yet another night
left all alone in a
crowded room

i try to hide my
demons as best
as i can

not even a miracle
worker can do it

and i'm sure some
smart ass will say
he saw it coming

it's always the
quiet types that
do this crazy shit

i suppose we all
have our calling
keep myself entertained

i go for days without
speaking to anyone
other than myself

i'll know for sure
when it's time to
kill myself

when i can no
longer keep myself

these idle hands
have nothing but
pure evil inside
of them
god started to laugh

i remember
drinking alone
asking god to
help me

god started
to laugh and
moved along

i looked in
the mirror
and realized
even the devil
would think
of me as a
lost cause

no one
that pain

waking up
each morning
you didn't die
in your sleep

knowing that today
will bleed
into all the
other days
where society
has left you

these are 
the mornings
i realize i
should have
never stopped
doing drugs
the hollow prayers to die

the bitter taste
of when all you
have dreamed
of doesn't live
up to your

the slow
of every lie
you were told
as a child

think of your
father in his

his hands
around your
neck and the
hollow prayers
to die

sometimes the
hardest thing to
realize is you're
simply taking
up space on
this earth

now comes the

the rope

the gun

or a generator
in a locked car
in a parking lot

decisions, decisions
dance with insanity

welcome the black
widow into your life
and prepare yourself
for all the craziness
that ensues

playing by the rules
got you nowhere

why bother to give
a fuck now

dance with insanity
and enjoy every scary
fucking dramatic event
that nearly ends your

from the broken alleys
to the abandoned homes
to the back of a police

once the rich decided
they couldn't make
enough money off of
the crazy ones

turn them loose and 
let the streets take
care of them

i guess some watched
too many episodes
of the walking dead
minor league sports

i remember sitting
at a hockey game
once thinking about
how i would most
like to die

that's the problem
with minor league
sports in poor towns
in the midwest

they can't keep 
you entertained
all the time

and cheap hot
dogs and alcohol
only goes so far
J.J. Campbell

Helpless I do not know if good intentions prevail among the elected, among the appointed, leaving me apprehensive that the fate ...