all alone in a crowded room
old faces from
the past race in
front of my mind
sort of a sensory
overload of sorts
all the horrors
from a childhood
i can't escape
yet another night
left all alone in a
crowded room
i try to hide my
demons as best
as i can
not even a miracle
worker can do it
forever
and i'm sure some
smart ass will say
he saw it coming
it's always the
quiet types that
do this crazy shit
i suppose we all
have our calling
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
keep myself entertained
i go for days without
speaking to anyone
other than myself
i'll know for sure
when it's time to
kill myself
when i can no
longer keep myself
entertained
these idle hands
have nothing but
pure evil inside
of them
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
god started to laugh
i remember
drinking alone
asking god to
help me
god started
to laugh and
moved along
i looked in
the mirror
and realized
even the devil
would think
of me as a
lost cause
no one
understands
that pain
waking up
each morning
disappointed
you didn't die
in your sleep
knowing that today
will bleed
into all the
other days
where society
has left you
behind
these are
the mornings
i realize i
should have
never stopped
doing drugs
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
the hollow prayers to die
the bitter taste
of when all you
have dreamed
of doesn't live
up to your
expectations
the slow
realization
of every lie
you were told
as a child
think of your
father in his
grave
his hands
around your
neck and the
hollow prayers
to die
sometimes the
hardest thing to
realize is you're
simply taking
up space on
this earth
now comes the
choice
the rope
the gun
or a generator
in a locked car
in a parking lot
decisions, decisions
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
dance with insanity
welcome the black
widow into your life
and prepare yourself
for all the craziness
that ensues
playing by the rules
got you nowhere
why bother to give
a fuck now
dance with insanity
and enjoy every scary
fucking dramatic event
that nearly ends your
life
from the broken alleys
to the abandoned homes
to the back of a police
car
once the rich decided
they couldn't make
enough money off of
the crazy ones
turn them loose and
let the streets take
care of them
i guess some watched
too many episodes
of the walking dead
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
minor league sports
i remember sitting
at a hockey game
once thinking about
how i would most
like to die
that's the problem
with minor league
sports in poor towns
in the midwest
they can't keep
you entertained
all the time
and cheap hot
dogs and alcohol
only goes so far
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J.J. Campbell
