a little more pain

each

rain

drop

carries

a little

more

pain

i can

still

find

the

pleasure

god

hasn't

defeated

me yet

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

purple tears of rage

she's crying purple

tears of rage once

again

crank up the music

and let everything

go

the tainted lies

from the sperm

donor that chose

a pipe rather than

diapers

the countless 

abusers that saw

an opportunity

rather than a

lovely young

soul

embrace the

pain as a means

to control it

a way to use that

negative energy

as a weapon for

you to go out and

seek your revenge

the red pill will

take you back

twenty-six years

the blue pill will

give you the power

to control your future

and yes

the smart ones

take both

--------------------------------------------------------------------

just me and my thoughts

sitting alone in

the rain, just me

and my thoughts

i'd pray for

lightning but god

doesn't answer

my prayers

i close my eyes

and see lover

after lover

walking out

the same door

endless teachers

i was smarter

than

so much

potential to

do what others

wanted for me

i chose the long

line of alcohol

and drugs and

endless creativity

sitting alone in

the rain, just me

and my thoughts

proud i wasn't

a coward like

my father

had the balls

to dream and

not seek the

easy way to

it

------------------------------------------------------------------------

but i tend to believe

i had a dream

i pulled into

the parking

lot of the

church i

used to go

to and killed

myself

i guess i was

hoping god

would find

it ironic

but i tend

to believe

my dream

was telling

me that no

matter what

my little ego

likes to think

none of this

fucking shit

matters

we are nothing

more than a

pimple on the

ass of the world

simply germs

waiting for the

worms

--------------------------------------------------------------------

behind a white picket fence

a flash

of lightning

and i think

back to the

dreams of

my childhood

holding the

love of my

life during

a thunderstorm

in a big house

somewhere

behind a white

picket fence

flash forward

and arthritis

is slowly

driving

me insane

while i try to

do whatever

it takes to stay

in my mother's

will

the price

for daring

to dream

as a child

is finding

out none of

them come

true when

being an

adult slowly

grinds you

to death

J.J. Campbell

Call to Witness

The fact that I was born
proves there is a divine force
in the universe
if I do say so myself
because I shoot light
as a hobby
and I am made of water
like the Great Lakes
and I bear witness
to the world
the minute I am awake
you all need me here
so that you can see
your fine selves in my eyes
as you strut your stuff
each of you lost
in your own parade
many of you grace
the pages of my mind
as I transform you into
literary lore
I am the court stenographer
and sketch artist
in this trial by fire
juried by peers
with nothing but
unrequited desire
in their eyes
and their death sentence
verdict
even for those
guilty of innocence
should really come
as no surprise

Ivan Jenson

Horizon People

People are talking
about the new normal
where you are not
in your room
in your bed
watching your shows
the volume so loud
that I was the only one
who heard the phone
it was always for you
and I would bring it to you
and you would talk to
your other children
or your old boss
at the New Jersey truffle factory
the two of you had a lasting
friendship that was forged
over dark and milk chocolate
and flavors like pistachio cream
going back to when you both
smoked cigarettes
and you had a thing
with the tall rustic accountant there
kudos to the both of you
for finding love late in life
and then cancer took him
and now you
to a place somewhere
I think I can almost see
if I squint and stare
when I drive through
sunset's glare

Ivan Jenson

Baby Steps

Every morning I have
to go out and get fresh air
some between-the-clouds
sunshine
some coffee
and some looks
from pretty strangers
in order to recover
just a little bit
from the spectacular
success and disaster
of our friendship
mother
of everything
that is out there
and in here
it was so nice
getting to know you
in all your guises
and disguises
like the public you
so gregarious
and the private
dark side
that often scared
the hell out of us
kids whose
cries often turned
right back into laughter...
it was quite simply
the happiest
unhappy childhood
that ever could be
the one you
gave to my brothers
my sisters
and me

Ivan Jenson

Road Kill

Now that this
thankless job of being
a son
is done
I feel as frightened
and exhilarated
as an ex-con
on the day he is
set free
from prison
ready to try
out a new role
as an outstanding
citizen
who has to check
in with the parole
agent of anguish
periodically
as a way of
touching base
with the memory
of your aged face
I am now both orphan
and foster child
an abandoned adult
left on the highway
or a stray cat
that luckily has never
been declawed
because now
I have to
street fight
to stay alive

Ivan Jenson


Spotless Eternity

The most peculiar
thing happened to me
when I wept in front
of a stranger who
happened to be my therapist
and that was the realization
that I am not through
with you
even though
you are finished with me
and all my nonsense
because everything for you
is now a non issue
you have no time
and therefore have
no patience for people
of my kind
even if I happen to
have been your son
you have bigger concerns
even deceased you are
ever the mother,
all you want to do
is vacuum the vast vacuum
and dust the dust

Ivan Jenson