Thursday, November 12, 2015

Big Difference

Behind every great man 
is a woman 
making him who he is.

Behind every great woman 
is a man
watching her walk.

Donal Mahoney


Gender Inequality

The uncommon
is common
in America today.

Not that there’s anything 
wrong with that, Seinfeld 
might have said to George

had they seen the latest 
Glamour Magazine 
naming Caitlyn Jenner

Woman of the Year.
The public seems to agree.
No placards hit the air.

but Caitlyn has to stand 
and spray what other 
women sit to tinkle.

Donal Mahoney


Two in the Soup

We’re twins.
We’ve been together
from the start.
You’re the doctor.
You know that.

She didn’t sound happy
when you told her
there were two. 
We’re worried
she doesn’t want us.

See you next week
when she comes back 
with her decision.
We’ll float till then.
Nothing else to do.


Donal Mahoney


Ms. Editor Savaged by Mr. Author

It is a different society now. 
Less respect for people at either end 
and folks in the middle as well.

People no longer are treated like linen.
Too often like Kleenex used and tossed.
Since it’s a man who’s sending those emails,

don't bother taking any offense.
We men are often not too nice to women 
standing up although we can be sweet 

as honey when wanting them supine. 
You have a fine magazine but need  
thicker armor over your sensibilities. 

In my world, you’re young and while
I’d never applaud the benefits of age, 
it has at least one that’s valuable.

When you’re near the top of the hill 
it's easier to laugh at the louts below
whizzing darts past your keister.


Donal Mahoney


Monitor Lizard, Chomping

Willard goes to the well 
for a drink of water
on a furnace hot day
but there’s no water
only a beggar sitting 

yogi-style at the bottom
with a tin cup in one hand, 
a bouquet of pencils 
in the other, but alas
no one is buying.

He yells up to Willard:
“Go get a ladder.
I have to come up 
before the election
so I can register.

A tycoon put him in the well
after a primary rally where
the beggar had shouted,
“Trickle-down economics
is never the answer.”

The crowd cheered  
when the beggar added,
"Trickle down is nothing more 
than the droppings of 
monitor lizard, chomping.


Donal Mahoney


Morning Coffee Can Be So Important

A tragedy happened to Willie
and Millie after years of marriage.
All their kids were doing well 
and had nice families of their own

but tragedy struck one dawn before 
Willie had had his morning coffee.
Millie was on her third cup and Willie 
said Millie looked at him the wrong way

and Willie asked, “What’s that look
all about, Millie, what did I do now?"
Millie had no idea what Willie
was talking about since she 

hadn’t looked at him in any way
different than she usually did.
Maybe she was stifling a sneeze.
It didn’t help when Millie advised 

Willie to drink plenty of coffee
and they would talk it over then. 
Willie said he had had enough
and he was leaving forever. 

He packed his old satchel
and moved to a geriatric hotel 
and sent Millie a letter telling her
to file for divorce or he would file

to make certain she would never 
look at him the same way again. 
He said he had done nothing 
to warrant so viperous a look  

and their marriage was kaput.
Millie wouldn't file for divorce
but Willie filed and they split. 
Now Millie lives in the big house

and Willie in the old hotel where 
he’s delighted to know that Millie 
will never get another chance to
sink her fangs like a viper again. 

Donal Mahoney