Sunday, February 6, 2011

today i cried for you
salty tears down my face
snotty nosed
ballin for you
pulled my hair
screamed for you
prayed to your god today

i felt your pain
and released it today

i cried those un-named
un-talked about
un-forgiven pains

i cried for rapes that took place
i cried for fathers who were misplaced
for the cheating men/womyn
the drug habits
i cried for your self doubt
i cried for your self doubt

today i cried for you

cried for your beatings and those hurtful words
every bad feeling ever had
every negative word you had to hear
everything that has brought you fear
every shameful thing

i cried for you today

every stab in your back
for the lack of encouragement you had
for the fat girl jokes
the over-sized meals
for the starvation to be thin

i cried for parents that you've lost
and the children you've lost
every death
every illness
every sadness

i cried your pains today
from the pit of my soul
i cried your pains today
to give you more room

you amaze me
you are so wonderful
so magical
so smart
you are perfection
a unique gift

extending my arms like bridges to reach you
your greatness is you
i love you


MY UNION OF THE SOULS ADDRESS

i am living my life passionately
spending more time serving my heart

re-aquainting with my mind

feeding my soul

wholesome purposeful real food


new eyes

positively PERCEIVING LIFE

for our planet

for our children

for all beings


sistahs we must vibrate higher


live out our hearts deepest desire

cuz that is our souls pit of fire

create new wires

that transmit an electrical shift of waves

that open enclaved caves

that have restricted us


find each purpose and heartedly give back

to any who lack an understanding of the power they have


generations are in extreme need

angry frustrated lost

and we are seeing the results

and we talk about others who are at fault but

we must ask ourselves

what am i doing?



WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

how are you healing?


we must take some time now

we must take some time now

we must take some time now


and focus on how else i can help

focus right now on how you can help right now

help yourself

help another


sistahs we must realize our food

is supposed to be our body's natural fuel

not some genetically modified version and

animals are alive and deserve to be treated as such

they should be raised kindly and fed properly

slaughtered proudly handled respectfully

so they can provide us

nutritionally beneficially


we must vibrate higher


we must take back our bodies

and be more aware of what we put inside of them

rid them of the created diseases



we must take back our minds

rid them of negative entertainment simply put

it weakens your mind

and makes you a less powerful energy



DO YOU FEEL ME?

WE MUST DOMINATE my sistahs

we must HYDRATE OUR THIRSTY SOULS my sistahs

we must vibrate higher my sistahs


shift your energy like you shift your thoughts but in uplifting spirals

because harboring negative emotions weakens your system

which is a part of a powerful source

but its just a small piece of a much larger universal life force


collectively we are united

we must be stronger ready

be true to yourself my sistahs

my people

we must vibrate higher


get lost in the real stars

get lost in the sun and moon that rise daily no matter what

get lost in exploration of the magnificant manifestations your mind can create


be love

healing

light

natural

be the beginning

powerful

unconditional

infinite

extensions

of higher

vibrating beings


my people we must vibrate higher

we must


THERE WILL NEVER COME A DAY YOU WILL EVER HEAR ME SAY THAT I WANT OR NEED TO BE WITHOUT YOU.....

BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TODAY BECOMES THAT DAY AND MY EMOTIONS ARE FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS MENTALLY AND PHYSICALY MAKING ME INSANE

HEART AND MIND ARE AT WAR ONE KNOWS IT NEEDS TO SOAR BUT THE OTHER ONE JUST WON'T LET GO

I WANTED TO GIVE MY ALL AND BABY I FELT LIKE I GAVE MY ALL STOOD NEXT TO YOU PROUD AND TALL WAS READY TO CATCH YOU IF YOU WERE TO FALL

I WANTED YOU TO HOLD ME BUT YOU TRIED TO MOLD ME AND FOLD AND KEEP ME IN YOUR POCKET HAD YOU JUST ASKED I WOULD'VE GIVEN YOU A PIECE OF ME TO WEAR AROUND YOU LIKE A LOCKET

I LOOKED ITO MY EYES AND SAW NO SPARKLE OR GLOW I

I REALIZED THAT YOU AND I WELL

WE COULD'NT GROW AND NOW IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO

I STILL WANT YOU IN MY LIFE

BUT

ITS TIME FOR ME TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN INTERTWINE WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF MY MIND

WHO'S NOT AFRAID AS I WORK THROUGH MY LAYERS TILL I GET TO MY CENTER MY CORE MYSELF EVEN THE PARTS OF ME THAT BEEN COLLECTING DUST ON A SHELF

THEY WILL BE STANDING THERE WITH A DUST RAG AND A MOP READY TO HELP

NOT THAT YOU DIDN'T HELP BUT YOU HAD TO MANY DUSTY SHELVES THAT YOU HADN'T EVEN DEALT WITH

AND WELL MY ALLERGIES STARTED ACTING UP AND YES I BECAME FED UP

BUT YESTERDAY WAS THE LAST DAY THAT MY EMOTIONS WERE FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS

MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY MAKING ME INSANE

NO LONGER AM I IN PAIN NOW I ONLY LOOK WHAT I HAVE GAINED

NEW NAMES INSCRIPTED IN MY HEART

WHERE THEY WILL REMAIN

TILL DEATH DO US PART


Still I’m not good enough


TAKING MY STYLE AND EXPRESSION PUSHING IT TO SUPPRESSION

BECAUSE IT CREATED A TENSION IN YOU

but still im not good enough

MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY

IT WAS LIKE THEY DIDN'T EXIST

AS IF I DISSOLVED THEM IN A COMBINATION OF SOLVENTS

but still im not good enough

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

TO CATER TO YOUR NEEDS

EVEN WHEN THE FLOOR WAS COLD AND MY KNEES BEGAN TO CALLUS

but still im not good enough

PUTTING YOU BEFORE ME

YOUR NEEDS

YOUR FEELINGS

YOUR DREAMS

WITHHOLDING MY NEEDS

MY FEELINGS

MY DREAMS

TO INVOLVED IN HELPING you GAIN STRENGTH

WHILE I REMAINED WEAK

but still im not good enough

THROUGH ALL YOUR PHASES OF GROWTH

GOOD AND BAD

EVEN WHEN THE MADNESS OF YOUR STRANGERS MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS IN DANGER

but still im not good enough

WHEN YOUR HANDS LEFT THEIR PRINTS ON MY SKIN

CAUSE YOU WERE HANDLING ME LIKE I WAS A HIM

AFTER YOUR VERBAL ASSAULTS MANY TIMES WITHOUT LEGITIMATE CAUSE

JUDGING MY FLAWS

3 STRIKES AND YOUR STILL NOT OUT

but still im not good enough

LIES WERE TOLD

SECRETS WERE KEPT

FORGIVEN I'VE DONE

ACCEPTED IT WAS THE PAST I'VE DONE

MOVED ON FROM YOUR DECEIT AND OPENED MY ARMS TO LOVINGLY GREET YOU

I'VE DONE

but still im not good enough

COULD'NT KEEP UP WITH ME ON MY LEVEL

I NEVER LOOKED DOWN AT YOU WITH RIDICULE

INSTEAD I EXTENDED MY HAND TO HELP YOU STAND ON MY SYMMETRICAL LAND

but still im not good enough

ALWAYS TRIED TO KEEP OUR WEAKNESS AND STRENTGH COUNTERBALANCED

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED I TRIED I TRIED

I NEVER SEEM TO SASTIFY

but still im not good enough

INVITED YOU ON MY GREAT JOURNEY

WANTING TO SEE THIS LIFETIME WITH YOU

WILLING TO TAKE YOU PLACES YOU'VE NEVER BEEN AND INTRODUCE YOU TO TOTAL FULLFILLMENT AND PLEASURE

but still im not good enough

OPENED MY WHOLE SELF TO

YOU

NEVER LIED TO

YOU

DIDN'T WANT TO FAKE MY LOVE TO

YOU

ALWAYS THERE TO SUPPORT

YOU

WANTED ONLY THE BEST FOR

YOU

ACCEPTED

YOU

FOR

YOU

DIDN'T TRY TO CHANGE

YOU

YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!

but still im not good enough

still im not good enough

im not good enough

not good enough

good enough

enough

I'M TOO GOOD

Spoken Chapters