Choice does not let you choose,
or make decisions, choice forces you
Yet, deciding really offers you no choice
of all the options.
Choice offends your decisions.
Just as decisions mock your choices.
So choose wisely.
I sit and I listen
Watch the phone
Wait for your ring
Even knowing you may
not call, keeps me on
I guess I like being on edge
It gives me a sense of excitement
The excitement I must
look forward too.
It gives me that senses of comfort
that I beg for
I continue to listen in the house
to hear you, even though
I know you are no longer here
The somber sound of your sleeping breath
reminded me of comfort
Gave me hope...I guess?
In the morning we would brew our day
over brewed coffee
Planning our adventures
not our leap from the edge
The weight of the world falls upon my chest with an unassuming heaviness. It fills my lungs with bubbles, popping at each gasping breath I attempt to draw into my heaviness
I felt as though I was under a grand piano, hanging only by a thin unstable cable, outside a glassless window, many many storeys above me, as I stand unknowingly on the sidewalk below.
The piano begins to inch, ever so slightly, slowly, down each floor. The ebb of its decline makes it hard for me to see it is falling towards me. But every once in awhile, I see slight movement out of the corner of my eye, which would remind me of my fate, and not to plant my feet too far in the ground.
Every so often the wind would gently brush the ivory keys and make a sweet and promising sound, but the wind would cease, and the piano continued to rush towards me, now picking up speed.
I felt a storm coming. My guts twisted and churned, like I knew exactly what was to come, but did not anticipate the weight of the beautiful object hovering, still above me.
I looked up just in time to see the piano before it hit, and I prayed to whoever was listing to at the least, not hit me too hard.
But it would become apparent that that request was inevitable, it was going to hit me, but it was up to me how hard the impact would be.
I thought quick on my ungrounded feet.... If I dodged to the right it would crush my legs....If I fell to the left it would surely crush my arms... but if I stayed directly under it..and took the hit head on, I was sure to get out...bruised, scarred but nevertheless....Alive!
I am glad I chose that outcome for myself... It's not how the weight of the world hits you, but how you decide to fall victim under it.